I can tremble
I allow myself to open wide and receive
My youngest daughter was born at 12:10 am on Valentine’s Day. I wasn’t intentionally waiting for it. She was. It was a natural birth, 31 years ago. And I remember the shaking that followed. Shaking that followed such orgasmic intensity; pain and incredible love all mixed into one long moment of release. I was hemorrhaging. My feet were still in stirrups and my thighs could not stop their quivering. My husband was with me. Both of us were beaming as if lit from within and my body was just trying to keep up with the vibration of that light. We mothers never forget that. What we have carried. And still carry within us. A memory that can trigger the pulsation and the miracle.
Why does love make us tremble?
My experience is not limited to biological motherhood, either. My eldest daughter did not come from my body. And yet she absolutely tugs at that womb. There is a place in me that responds to her as if it carried her. A deep, physical yes.
At our source we all carry the same DNA. We meet one another in the world and something in us recognizes itself on the other side. Something already kindled that just needs our breath for it to fire.
I was wide open on that delivery table. I’ve tried to be wide open in my life. I want to feel the tremble. Even when it overtakes me and when I am at my most vulnerable.
Deep love, Agape, requires openness. It requires that our skin fire and that our “body glove” stretch beyond what we believe we can reach.
I opened, and love simply took up the space that had always been made for it—for me. And for my children, my grandchildren, my husband. God.
All of them require me to fully participate in the delivery—and feel my body shake.
My mentor, Guru Singh, talks about the body glove, the form we occupy, as something that’s only animated once we stretch into it. We stretch into motherhood. Into friendship. Into intimacy. Into devotion and unconditional love. We have to. Or else we’re just a glove on a table, without true form.
Divine love delights in that form. It, too, wants to tremble.
Today’s affirmation:
I can tremble.
I can open myself wide to receive.
Practice Trembling.
Close your eyes and think of someone you love with deep passion. Someone you will sacrifice absolutely everything for.
Let that love swell in you. Breathe into it. Let the breath deepen and undulate throughout your body. Each limb and finger. Around your knees and elbows, each toe.
Feel your nerves fire and notice how your body responds, from your largest muscles to just below the surface of your skin. From the crown of your head, to your heart, your belly, your pelvis, your legs. Feel them all.
What trembles?
What wants to?
Place your attention on an active area or lay a hand. Stay with it. Notice.
Notice not just the energy, but Love. Love without condition. Without judgment. Love that simply is.
And then allow it to move outward, fully inhabiting every part of you.
Allow it to sit right at your skin line. In the pores, along the tiny hairs. Breathe here.
And now move it beyond your body, haloing out just a few inches and holding steady. What do you notice?
Then move it out even more, a few feet — rest. Beyond walls — rest. Beyond the boundaries of your home… your community… feeling an undulating current of love moving from you out into the world.
Shake. Shake it out. Your arms, your hands, your legs. Kick, shake, dance, quake.
And then rest.
What more does your body want to say to you? What does Love?
Reflect
What does Divine Love mean to me in this ordinary life?
Where do I feel it in my body?
Write (Down the Page)
_________________ makes me tremble.
I open myself to ___________________.
I see the spark in me kindle in ____________________.
Thank
Your body for opening.
Thank the unconditional love within, bubbling to the surface.
Thank the tremble.
Thank you for your support. I appreciate you holding space for me and my work.
Love,
Jackie
PS: If you’re interested in exploring Agape and how it moves through human form, my course Ladders of Love & Friendship continues this Wednesday at noon EST. We’ll be working on the second rung of the ladder: passion and play.
You can pop-in for the class. Or join the series, where you can listen to the previous class replays and find supportive materials, including somatic practices and the science behind the story.